…I was bored. Sue me. >_>

AKF – May 20^th 1959, 10:50 AM
Age 21: Dave and Jr
Age 25: Nikki and Nickie
Age 31: Dory
Age 38: Tai

JR – January 3^rd 1980, 6:27 PM
Age 20: Jhonen, Winter, and Hammy

DAVE – January 3^rd 1980, 6:14 PM
Age 22: Naru and Misa

NIKKI – October 25^th 1984, 11:51 PM
[No Children]

NICKIE – October 25^th 1984, 11: 51 PM
[No Children]

DORY – November 13^th 1990, 8:04 AM
[No Children]

TAI – October 20^th 1997, 4:11 PM
[No Children]

JHONEN – December 27^th 1997, 9:39 PM
[No Children]

NARU – March 8^th 1999, 12: 36 PM
[No Children]

MISA – March 8^th 1999, 12: 42 PM
[No Children]

Tai: [rolls eyes] I’m sure there’s SOMEONE around here that would fuck you, Skai. 

Naru: Like you?

Tai: [smacks her upside the head]

Naru: … ಠ_ಠ 

Jhonen: …Did you just smack her?

Tai: Yes.

Jhonen: I’m out. [puts hands up defensively and walks away towards Winter and Misa]

Naru: [cracks knuckles]

Misa: Oh, don’t worry about it, Winter-kun! Just take a chance! You have nothing to worry about! I just know i—Oh, hi, Jhonen. 

Jhonen: Hi. >_>

Misa: Jhonen, reassure your brother that there’s nothing to be afraid of about sex. 

Jhonen: Why would I—wait, what? He came to you for advice on sex? Aren’t you still a virgin? You’ve never been with anyone. 

Misa: Does it matter? Now, reassure your brother. 

Jhonen: I don’t want to talk to my brother about sex. ಠ_ಠ

———————-ANTM————————-

Kashi: TO THE HELICOPTER! 

Tyra: WHERE’S MY FUCKING GROCERIES?!

Kashi: FUCK YO GROCERIES.

—————-Hogwarts——————-

AKF: …Hm. Maybe I should apperate and get him?

Snape: You could, but you can’t apperate in and out of Hogwarts… >_>

AKF: OH YEAH. …How did I forget THAT?

Snape: [shrug] 

AKF: …Hm. Does Ed even know where Hogwarts is? ಠ_ಠ

backinreality:

Haley: yessss… i hope he gets here quickly. he can’t really apparate can he? 

Snape : *shrug*

-==-ANTM——————

Itachi: ok sooo… give us the keys to your car bitch. 

Contestant: uhm, no? 

Itachi: (sigh) *does sharingan*

Contestant: I ONLY HAVE A HELICOPTOR!!! *gives them the keys*

tachi: well sweet. 

—————-BIR——————-

Winter: oh .. okaayyyy… well.. i dunno :/ 

Skai: I STILL have them, they’re just not that exciting. same old, same old. i want to fuck someone i KNOW. 

Ari: oohhh, someone wants a relationship??!

Skai: FUCK no. it would just be a turn-on. strippers and skanks get old. not that you would know. 

Ari: meh -shrugs-

Haley: yessss… i hope he gets here quickly. he can’t really apparate can he? 

Snape : *shrug*

-==-ANTM——————

Itachi: ok sooo… give us the keys to your car bitch. 

Contestant: uhm, no? 

Itachi: (sigh) *does sharingan*

Contestant: I ONLY HAVE A HELICOPTOR!!! *gives them the keys*

tachi: well sweet. 

—————-BIR——————-

Winter: oh .. okaayyyy… well.. i dunno :/ 

Skai: I STILL have them, they’re just not that exciting. same old, same old. i want to fuck someone i KNOW. 

Ari: oohhh, someone wants a relationship??!

Skai: FUCK no. it would just be a turn-on. strippers and skanks get old. not that you would know. 

Ari: meh -shrugs-

backinreality:

Misa: [slaps forehead] It’s all biological… it might be a little awkward the first time but you’ll figure it out! 

Tai: Skai, I thought you had an army of strippers and whores…

Naru: He probably lost contact with them when he was together with Tai for all those years.

Jhonen: PFFT. Like SKAI was FAITHFUL… What a joke. 

Naru: …Oh. Right. 

Tai: Besides… he’s had time to gather a new army… BI So where’s your whores, Skai?

—————ANTM—————-

Kashi: All right, so… we need to get to London. How the fuck are we getting to London? 

Random Contestant: Guuuurl, I have a condo in London.

Kashi: …How nice. Shut up. 

—————Hogwarts—————

AKF: UMMMM… Probably. [flips open phone] … [dials a number] HEY ED. GET YO ASS OVER HERE. WE NEED YO ALCHEMY POWAHHHHHHHH. ….. No, I don’t give a fuck if Haley already took all your limbs. ….. Bring someone who has limbs to spare, then. ….. Okay. See you soon, then. [slams phone shut] Now… we wait. BI

backinreality:

Tachi: shit storms a brewin, we better go. c’mon, we gotta find that invisible train or whatever. 

—————-Hogwarts—————

haley: uuhhhh AKF do you have Ed’s number? 

Snape: uuhhg so disorganized. Do you guys want the ingrediants or what? 

Haley: no fuck that, this is way more intersesting than shopping for tyra. 

——————BIR————————

Darren: he has NO IDEA, so don’t let him onto it. its the only way i’ve been able to get off lately :I 

Skai: -sigh- this guys been getting more action than me.. maybe i should start roofying people. 

Winter: I just dont really even understand it! how do i know what to do or what is even happening! 

Misa: [slaps forehead] It’s all biological… it might be a little awkward the first time but you’ll figure it out! 

Tai: Skai, I thought you had an army of strippers and whores…

Naru: He probably lost contact with them when he was together with Tai for all those years.

Jhonen: PFFT. Like SKAI was FAITHFUL… What a joke. 

Naru: …Oh. Right. 

Tai: Besides… he’s had time to gather a new army… BI So where’s your whores, Skai?

—————ANTM—————-

Kashi: All right, so… we need to get to London. How the fuck are we getting to London? 

Random Contestant: Guuuurl, I have a condo in London.

Kashi: …How nice. Shut up. 

—————Hogwarts—————

AKF: UMMMM… Probably. [flips open phone] … [dials a number] HEY ED. GET YO ASS OVER HERE. WE NEED YO ALCHEMY POWAHHHHHHHH. ….. No, I don’t give a fuck if Haley already took all your limbs. ….. Bring someone who has limbs to spare, then. ….. Okay. See you soon, then. [slams phone shut] Now… we wait. BI

backinreality:

Tachi: shit storms a brewin, we better go. c’mon, we gotta find that invisible train or whatever. 

—————-Hogwarts—————

haley: uuhhhh AKF do you have Ed’s number? 

Snape: uuhhg so disorganized. Do you guys want the ingrediants or what? 

Haley: no fuck that, this is way more intersesting than shopping for tyra. 

——————BIR————————

Darren: he has NO IDEA, so don’t let him onto it. its the only way i’ve been able to get off lately :I 

Skai: -sigh- this guys been getting more action than me.. maybe i should start roofying people. 

Winter: I just dont really even understand it! how do i know what to do or what is even happening! 

Tachi: shit storms a brewin, we better go. c’mon, we gotta find that invisible train or whatever. 

—————-Hogwarts—————

haley: uuhhhh AKF do you have Ed’s number? 

Snape: uuhhg so disorganized. Do you guys want the ingrediants or what? 

Haley: no fuck that, this is way more intersesting than shopping for tyra. 

——————BIR————————

Darren: he has NO IDEA, so don’t let him onto it. its the only way i’ve been able to get off lately :I 

Skai: -sigh- this guys been getting more action than me.. maybe i should start roofying people. 

Winter: I just dont really even understand it! how do i know what to do or what is even happening! 

backinreality:

Misa: Of course I’m sure, Winter-kun! What makes you think it wouldn’t me? o.o

Naru: HA! That’s fucking hilarious. Does he have any idea?

Jhonen: Oh, god, too much information…

———-Hogwarts————

AKF: LET’S FUCKING DO IT. WHERE ARE THE ALCHEMISTS?! 

Snape: Weren’t you here for something? 

AKF: Huh? Oh, uh… um… a unicorn horn or something?

————-ANTM—————-

Kashi: Hmn… I think something bad is about to happen, Tachi…

backinreality:

Darren: :/ well… honestly… sometimes I make him a hot cocoa at night, drug it, and have my way with him after he’s passed out. He would never do anything consciously. 

Skai: YEAH, DARREN!! hahahahahhaha thats the most hilarious thing i’ve heard you say. 

Darren: yeah.. its mostly blowjobs and jacking off though because i’d rather be a bottom :I 

Skai: ok, ok, thats enough you fag. i’ve heard too much. 

Winter: misaaaa… i’m wondering about that uhh…. “sex” ? are you sure its good? 

—————Hogwarts—————-

Snape: i mean yeah. it was a little more successful because we teamed up the alchemists with some of the local witches and wizards. 

Haley: it costs some bribery, but it’ll happen if you want. WE SHOULD DO SIRIUS TOOOO

Snape: He wasn’t in the life pact! 

haley: but he’s cuuuute :c

———————ANTM—————

tachi: *getting his hair did* yeah… definitely a disturbance. *shifty eyes*

Misa: Of course I’m sure, Winter-kun! What makes you think it wouldn’t me? o.o

Naru: HA! That’s fucking hilarious. Does he have any idea?

Jhonen: Oh, god, too much information…

———-Hogwarts————

AKF: LET’S FUCKING DO IT. WHERE ARE THE ALCHEMISTS?! 

Snape: Weren’t you here for something? 

AKF: Huh? Oh, uh… um… a unicorn horn or something?

————-ANTM—————-

Kashi: Hmn… I think something bad is about to happen, Tachi…

backinreality:

Darren: :/ well… honestly… sometimes I make him a hot cocoa at night, drug it, and have my way with him after he’s passed out. He would never do anything consciously. 

Skai: YEAH, DARREN!! hahahahahhaha thats the most hilarious thing i’ve heard you say. 

Darren: yeah.. its mostly blowjobs and jacking off though because i’d rather be a bottom :I 

Skai: ok, ok, thats enough you fag. i’ve heard too much. 

Winter: misaaaa… i’m wondering about that uhh…. “sex” ? are you sure its good? 

—————Hogwarts—————-

Snape: i mean yeah. it was a little more successful because we teamed up the alchemists with some of the local witches and wizards. 

Haley: it costs some bribery, but it’ll happen if you want. WE SHOULD DO SIRIUS TOOOO

Snape: He wasn’t in the life pact! 

haley: but he’s cuuuute :c

———————ANTM—————

tachi: *getting his hair did* yeah… definitely a disturbance. *shifty eyes*

Darren: :/ well… honestly… sometimes I make him a hot cocoa at night, drug it, and have my way with him after he’s passed out. He would never do anything consciously. 

Skai: YEAH, DARREN!! hahahahahhaha thats the most hilarious thing i’ve heard you say. 

Darren: yeah.. its mostly blowjobs and jacking off though because i’d rather be a bottom :I 

Skai: ok, ok, thats enough you fag. i’ve heard too much. 

Winter: misaaaa… i’m wondering about that uhh…. “sex” ? are you sure its good? 

—————Hogwarts—————-

Snape: i mean yeah. it was a little more successful because we teamed up the alchemists with some of the local witches and wizards. 

Haley: it costs some bribery, but it’ll happen if you want. WE SHOULD DO SIRIUS TOOOO

Snape: He wasn’t in the life pact! 

haley: but he’s cuuuute :c

———————ANTM—————

tachi: *getting his hair did* yeah… definitely a disturbance. *shifty eyes*

backinreality:

AKF: …What the fuck? I thought Human Transmutation didn’t work. BI

Snape: Oh, who cares. 

AKF: [GASP] WAIT WAIT. SO SO SO… DOES THAT MEAN THAT WE COULD COULD COULD… DO IT FOR REMUS-KUN!?! :D

——————-ANTM———————-

Kashi: …I feel a disturbance in the force. 

Random Contestant: Guuuuuurl, you need to dye yo hurrrr

Kashi: No. BI

——————BIR———————

Misa: Hm? Oh, sure. [walks off with Winter]

Tai: Yeah, they probably have something to with it… whether it’s conscious or not is an entirely different matter. BI

Naru: [appears randomly] …So… Darren… how do you even… put up with Winter and how… oblivious he is to anything sexual? 

Jhonen: Oh, god… 

backinreality:

Haley: uuhm no, not exactly penguin world, per say. I had a little talk with Ed Elric. :I he might have had to sacrifice a few more limbs for me buuutt…. worth it. 

Sev/Haley: *high five* LIFE PACT YEAH!!

————————BIR————————

Winter: thats true.. those kids are bitches. 

Darren: but pretty bitches. 

Winter: *shrug* Misa-chan? can i ask you something? can we talk in… private? :0 

Darren: :o ???

Ari: i know right? i dont know how the fuck that keeps happening :I i blame haley and akf somehow. 

AKF: …What the fuck? I thought Human Transmutation didn’t work. BI

Snape: Oh, who cares. 

AKF: [GASP] WAIT WAIT. SO SO SO… DOES THAT MEAN THAT WE COULD COULD COULD… DO IT FOR REMUS-KUN!?! :D

——————-ANTM———————-

Kashi: …I feel a disturbance in the force. 

Random Contestant: Guuuuuurl, you need to dye yo hurrrr

Kashi: No. BI

——————BIR———————

Misa: Hm? Oh, sure. [walks off with Winter]

Tai: Yeah, they probably have something to with it… whether it’s conscious or not is an entirely different matter. BI

Naru: [appears randomly] …So… Darren… how do you even… put up with Winter and how… oblivious he is to anything sexual? 

Jhonen: Oh, god… 

backinreality:

Haley: uuhm no, not exactly penguin world, per say. I had a little talk with Ed Elric. :I he might have had to sacrifice a few more limbs for me buuutt…. worth it. 

Sev/Haley: *high five* LIFE PACT YEAH!!

————————BIR————————

Winter: thats true.. those kids are bitches. 

Darren: but pretty bitches. 

Winter: *shrug* Misa-chan? can i ask you something? can we talk in… private? :0 

Darren: :o ???

Ari: i know right? i dont know how the fuck that keeps happening :I i blame haley and akf somehow. 

Haley: uuhm no, not exactly penguin world, per say. I had a little talk with Ed Elric. :I he might have had to sacrifice a few more limbs for me buuutt…. worth it. 

Sev/Haley: *high five* LIFE PACT YEAH!!

————————BIR————————

Winter: thats true.. those kids are bitches. 

Darren: but pretty bitches. 

Winter: *shrug* Misa-chan? can i ask you something? can we talk in… private? :0 

Darren: :o ???

Ari: i know right? i dont know how the fuck that keeps happening :I i blame haley and akf somehow. 

backinreality:

Misa: It might be a little icky, Winter-kun but it feels goooood~ 

Jhonen: Shut up, Misa…

Misa: No. BI

Tai: [grabs Ari] You need to stop getting sucked into different dimensions. 

Jhonen: Winter, have you ever even watched Toddlers and Tiaras? The kids throw tantrums and bitch and whine about everything. Besides… you don’t need a legacy. You’re fabulous enough for about ten generations. [rolls eyes]

Misa: …You watch Toddlers and Tiaras, Jhonen? 

Jhonen: I watch it with Naru sometimes. 

Misa: …Naru?

Jhonen: I know, right?

——————Hogwarts——————-

AKF: America’s Next Top Model, Sev. And how’d you bring him back? O_o He didn’t go to Penguin World, did he?

backinreality:

Haley: about that… i miiight have tried to raise him from the dead. :I 

Snape: well that explains a lot. 

Haley: so dude, can we like, have some gillyweed and stuff? some friends of ours are trying to win ANTM. 

Snape: uhhh…. wut? 

———————BIR————————

Skai: THEN WHO WANTS TO FUCK?! seriously you guys are a bunch of prudes!! anyone! anyone female who isn’t a total fug. 

Winter: thats not nice, skai-skai. inapporpriate language for when babies are around

skai: well good thing there’s not going to be any babies. 

Winter: :c yeaahhh… i guess. i dont really like babies that much anyways. i just wanted to be fabulous. 

Darren: you ARE fabulous, winter! 

Winter: NOT FABULOUS ENOUGH FOR MY LEGACY TO LIVE ON FOREVER!!

Ari: you can always have a baby later, kid. work on taking care of that virginity first. 

Winter: :/ kaaayyyyy. but thats icky. 

Misa: It might be a little icky, Winter-kun but it feels goooood~ 

Jhonen: Shut up, Misa…

Misa: No. BI

Tai: [grabs Ari] You need to stop getting sucked into different dimensions. 

Jhonen: Winter, have you ever even watched Toddlers and Tiaras? The kids throw tantrums and bitch and whine about everything. Besides… you don’t need a legacy. You’re fabulous enough for about ten generations. [rolls eyes]

Misa: …You watch Toddlers and Tiaras, Jhonen? 

Jhonen: I watch it with Naru sometimes. 

Misa: …Naru?

Jhonen: I know, right?

——————Hogwarts——————-

AKF: America’s Next Top Model, Sev. And how’d you bring him back? O_o He didn’t go to Penguin World, did he?

backinreality:

Haley: about that… i miiight have tried to raise him from the dead. :I 

Snape: well that explains a lot. 

Haley: so dude, can we like, have some gillyweed and stuff? some friends of ours are trying to win ANTM. 

Snape: uhhh…. wut? 

———————BIR————————

Skai: THEN WHO WANTS TO FUCK?! seriously you guys are a bunch of prudes!! anyone! anyone female who isn’t a total fug. 

Winter: thats not nice, skai-skai. inapporpriate language for when babies are around

skai: well good thing there’s not going to be any babies. 

Winter: :c yeaahhh… i guess. i dont really like babies that much anyways. i just wanted to be fabulous. 

Darren: you ARE fabulous, winter! 

Winter: NOT FABULOUS ENOUGH FOR MY LEGACY TO LIVE ON FOREVER!!

Ari: you can always have a baby later, kid. work on taking care of that virginity first. 

Winter: :/ kaaayyyyy. but thats icky.